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By Brian Bouldrey (editor)

ISBN-10: 0316103179

ISBN-13: 9780316103176

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These women had been unlucky in love - either jilted at the altar or some unspecified time before reaching it. Some of them came to talk, pouring out their troubles to Junior's mother as other customers looked on uneasily and the older woman passed across the counter miniature packets of Kleenex. Those lonelyhearts who did not come to talk came for the specific purpose of meeting Junior. \Vhen they showed up during the week they asked for him, and when Junior's mother asked if they had come about the dress, they would reply that if she didn't mind, they'd rather just speak withJunior himself.

He was obsessed with knowing who the last person would be. He didn't want it to be a doctor or nurse. He didn't want the eyes of his corpse to be closed by a stranger, but lovingly, regretfully, by a friend. Hen11: Time and again he told himself, This is no lift, but despite his multitude of afflictions, he still didn't know how to decide when he'd had enough. He had always hoped that some clear sign of resignation, some peaceful feeling of surrender, would overtake his mind and show him the way out.

Months before, he had looked up the best ways to kill himself in a book. He knew he could never use a knife or a gun, or throw his body in front of a speeding train. As miserable as he felt, he was still too accustomed to comfort to choose a painful death. The book claimed the sweetest way for him to die was to swallow a lethal combination of pills, then tie a plastic bag around his head. The bag should be loose at the face but tight at the neck, secured with two rubber bands. The instructions included the required number of pills, more than enough for a good night's sleep, • 33 • I AM MAKING A MISTAKE but not so many that he would awake vomiting, brain-damaged and still alive.

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Best American Gay Fiction 1 by Brian Bouldrey (editor)

by Brian

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